If you’ve been reading my blog, I’ve become very open about my feelings and as of late, even my status messages on Facebook have been subjected to misunderstandings. This has got to stop. I need to take a step back. I had just gotten back from the mountains and I was on a high until just recently and I want that high back.
So I’ll explain shit here in hopes that one day you’ll read it and one day, we’ll get a chance to talk about things.
“Feels” isn’t you. That’s not my nickname for you. Feels are my feelings. If I had to be more blunt with this status message, it would read, “Today, I decided to put myself first. I’ve decided not to let my feelings for you get in the way of how things are between us and that I can do without having feelings for you.” I was talking about my feelings for you. Period.
But it’s been misread and misunderstood and I don’t want to try to fix things anymore because usually, if a friendship was that strong and if we were serious about staying friends, then it’d be a two-way road and I’d hear from you. But your lack of communication and your obvious anger on social media has made me think that perhaps, you were never ready to give me the benefit of the doubt and that during those times we hung out and talked, you were already in doubt of whatever friendship or connection there was between us. If my status message had bothered you so much, why didn’t you just ask me directly? But ironic how I’m doing things indirectly too rather than telling you all this.
But thank you for making it easy for me to move on from these feelings I have for you. It’s just too bad because this distance that I wanted to create between us was so that I could save our friendship. But you made it clear that I blew it.
So no more drama from now on. Cause I’m sick of this drama shit. I was fine before I had feelings for you.